There are a plethora of quotes out there about embracing the hardships, turning them into lessons, and slaying the situation. From religious based quotes, to spirituality, vibrations, or what-have-you, they are out there. Growing up in a Catholic Church, I heard, “God won't give you anything you can't handle.” True, but why do some have to go through more than others and prove over and over again how strong one really is?
I just had mega good news given to me. Years of hard work, networking, and persistence was finally going to pay off. (More on this topic later when I am able to share the good news). But, then a big health scare happened. I have cancer.
Yikes! The big “C” word. Okay, call down, I have melanoma. Which, yes, is a type of cancer but, if there was a cancer to have, this would be it. This all started back in February when I made an appointment with my lovely “female” doctor to have an annual check up. I'll admit, it had been a couple of years since I had such a check up. During that check up, my doctor noticed a spot that needed an expert consultation. So,I made the appointment for a dermatologist.
This brings me to today. I went in, and he immediately wanted to proceed with doing a biopsy on my spot, and told me that it was 80% likely to be melanoma. So for the next two weeks I had to worry about these results. It turns out that I do, in fact, have melanoma. Now, this spot was not very deep, and turns out that I will just have to have it cut out, stitched up, and I would be fine. And by fine, I mean that for the first 2-3 years, I will have full body checks every six months, and then have one once a year for the rest of my life. He did do a full body scan in the office when I went in for my results, and luckily I do not have any more spots that are alarming.
My initial reactions, after hearing the news, is “Why can’t I just be happy?” I had this great news come to me, and my world is about to change because of it, but then this news comes along, and I am immediately devastated again. Like, why can’t I have even a week of pure happiness without having something bad happen?? Now keep in mind, that the day that I found out I had melanoma, lots of other little things began to add up, and it was a rough, rough day for me. The day after that is when I went to the office to talk in more detail about my results, and find out what was in store for me.
After this appointment, I was irritated, frustrated, mad, angry, disappointment, and probably a million other adjectives. I started snapping at the nurses, at my mother, and was pretty short when sharing this news with some of my closest friends (whether they noticed or not, I certainly did). I got in my car, drove over to my gym, and had a great workout. This is where my mindset shifted. I gave myself a wake up call, and thank God that I did. I am strong, stubborn, and (at this point) used to facing adversity. I know I will be okay, and everything will workout.
I still do not understand the reason for developing melanoma, however I know God has a plan. It could be that I learned and realized a major personality trait of mine. Others may say that you should never “go at” problems alone, however, I prefer it. I need that alone time to process and deal with the overwhelming emotions. After my appointment, I sat in my car for probably about a half hour and processed everything. I now know that I need some alone time to sort things out in my head. It is nothing against anyone, it’s just how I process. Because I know this now, I can handle future situations in a better manner.
Self-awareness has an amazing power over your life. Knowing how you work, how you process situations, and how you react will allow you to handle any situation with grace and keep yourself operating on positive and good vibrations. Having the mindset of looking for the lesson, instead of dwelling on the disappointment, will keep you operating at a high frequency and vibrations. This is where you need to be, or strive to be.
So, let’s make a commitment to each other to dive into our emotions and feelings (and yes they are different) to better understand ourselves. Whether we need to have some self-talk (which, by the way, needs to always be POSITIVE), or even start journalling when something is happening. Let’s all try to be more self-aware of ourselves, and communicate these realizations to loved ones.