What do you love to do in your free time? If you are anything like me, your first response may have been, “What free time?” We get so caught up in life that we forget that we have control over our time. We get to decide how we spend our time and what makes us feel good. But, when was the last time you have thought about it?
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The truth is, I hadn’t thought about it for a very long time. I sort of lost myself in the hustle of life. I’ve always had goals and my mindset was “work until they happen.” Well, that led to major burnout and a ton of stress. Who wants to live like that?
I certainly didn’t.
Over the past year, but especially the past couple of months, I have been slowing my life down. I’ve never been busier, but it’s peaceful, intentional, and feels so good. It’s bringing me energy instead of draining it. Multi-tasking was a way of life for me. If I wasn’t doing two or three things at one time, I wasn’t doing enough. Now, my phone goes on “do not disturb” or “work” mode, I get rid of as many distractions as I can, and I only check my email (text messages, social media notifications, etc) when I have space to do so – after I complete a task or another designated time.
I’m learning how to sit still and be with myself. Hear my thoughts, sit with my thoughts, and let them pass. I’m also learning how to set boundaries and let go of relationships that no longer serve me. Reading books and paying attention to who lifts me up versus drains my energy. I have been binging anything by Brene Brown – she really is legendary. I love that all of her information is driven by data from lived experiences. It’s been allowing me to think about what research I could do to improve the quality of life of those with SCI.
I’m thinking big and it scares me just as much as it excites me.
Throughout my journaling entries, I noticed a pattern. It seemed to be all work and no play, which doesn’t sit well with me. I like to think that I’m a fun person. I like to joke around, laugh, and be silly around those that I feel safe.
And this is where the busyness of my life comes in. I’m on a mission to get out and experience more joy. If an opportunity arises to have fun, I’m going to take it. A chance to meet new people that may be on a similar journey as me? I’m down, sign me up.
Just recently, I was able to try sled hockey for the first time. What a fun sport! I had no idea how I was going to like it, or how hard it was going to be. Deciding to push past my comfort zone anyway, I showed up with an open mind and allowed myself to laugh as I was learning and just let loose.
I should probably mention that this timing was directly in the middle of mother nature slamming us with winter storms after winter storms. Diamond and I hadn't been able to take a walk for at least 2 weeks by this point and my body was yearning to be challenged physically. My body was craving a good workout
Win-win!
I wouldn’t let myself try something like sled hockey before with an excuse of “I don’t do cold weather sports” before. But it wasn’t that “I don’t do cold-weather sports.” It was fear. Fear of not being able to transfer by myself and how that might look to others. Fear of embarrassing myself because I might not be good at it. Or, what if an “issue” because of my spinal cord injury happens, would I have the resources to take care of it?
It boils down to me not believing in my worth. I didn’t find myself worthy enough of these experiences.
So what changed?
My mindset and perspective did because I sat with those uncomfortable thoughts, felt all the painful emotions, and have accepted all parts of me. I am human which means I will never be perfect. As a recovering perfectionist, I’m now striving for “good enough.” I have done the work to start believing in who I am and what I have to offer to the world.
Give yourself the permission you need to cultivate the life you desire. Because you deserve it. Start with journaling what you like to do in your free time, or what fills your energy? (Is anyone else picturing a video game energy bar filling up to green?) Then, do those things. Pick small ones when you really feel low, stuck, unmotivated. Pick big things when it feels good. When you figure out what you like to do, write down why it feels good. What about the activity really interests you? The feeling is what you want to hang onto. That’s the feeling you are looking for.
If you would like more information on anything I spoke about here, leave me some feedback either here – below this post, e-mail me (thewheellifeblog@gmail.com), or on any of my social media platforms! (IG/TW/TT @megs_hammond). I do have a free 2-week journaling guide that you can download from my website if you are interested in starting your journaling practice. I would love to hear from you and what I can do to help. If there is ANYTHING that you want to hear about – please let me know! I can’t do any of this without YOU, so I would love to connect with you!
Let’s keep those happy thoughts, productivity, and self-care going! Until next time, live honestly, passionately, and with kindness! Take care!
Perfection is over rated❤❤